This outer world, our day-to-day lives, can be very distracting. They buffet our minds, emotions, and senses. We let things that happen to us form experiential sores; existential callouses.
As we pick at these, our surface grows tougher. We are less sensitive where we’ve been scarred.
Then we learn that there is a deeper life; we don’t need our toughness and scars anymore. That which grinds away our surface can free our core. As it polishes away the outer shell, the hull, the pod; we find our souls pulsing inside.
– From “The Gardens of Ailana” handbook for mystics & healers
My love/guide told me today that if I hadn’t had all those years of suffering and crippling doubt I couldn’t have written the books that I do, and could’t have reached the people I reach. I write books of hope for the hopeless; stories of deep meaning for the lost and out of touch. I couldn’t have come to them in compassion and empathy if I hadn’t myself felt disconnected, and like God and all meaning had turned from me.
You reach a certain stage in your developmental flow when your life floods over with minor miracles and bizarre synchronicities. Until you get so you hardly notice them anymore; they are just what your life is made of.
– Next may come a time when you learn to stay in the moment, and follow subtle promptings. You get so you no longer need feedback that you are doing what’s right; when and where needed; you just trust and stay centered in the joy of higher service.
– As you pull away from old relationships, outmoded habits and beliefs, others gather around you who may be thought of as a team. But it appears that you WILL have to make room for them. As you leave another behind, though, do it caringly.
– As you learn to swallow your ego, you may also be offered an even bigger challenge: to swallow your anti-ego. Allow yourself to be powerful and do great things even as you open in naked and humble vulnerability to another. This will really test your honesty and adherence to Truth. Can you admit your failures and foolishness, and just as honestly step in beside the big spiritual guns if they need you to be there in some way beside them?
– More stages will undoubtedly lie beyond these first few, but I haven’t run into those yet.
Just settling myself back into the forest today, catching only moments & wisps of The Stillness. Am finding bits of quiet, but not the stillness that would show I am opening to Spirit again. 7 months running around among mortals, in many countries, doing stuff. I can appreciate how hard it is for folks to find their deepest selves & truths, even once they have already known and embraced them. This personality and history, Bob Fahey; this life; this world; all the stuff he needs to do to keep his body alive on this planet … It is all just STUFF. That which I was before this person was born, and which I will continue to be once it’s gone – That is what I want to return to, embrace fully and clearly. But first I must feel The Stillness again.